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ZikhonaMataka| December 2020| Nochillinmzansi

The holiday season is within and although 2020 might have been a spoilsport- family gatherings will still be a thing, house/apartment warmings are still happening and mini braais are still a thing. Whether you’re the host or a guest this Christmas- don’t be a ‘Jim comes to Joburg’ and shock everyone with unmannered host-guest behaviour. Be a host to remember and a guest to invite again with these simple holiday etiquettes.

Host etiquettes

Send invitations of your Event as early as possible

It’s the festive season people have other things going on which may require budgets. To avoid disappointing turnouts as a host- send out invites to people 3-4 weeks before the big event.

Prepare Clean Spaces

This does not mean breaking your bank account to get new bedding or utensils however, all these should be well kept and clean for the expected guests.

Be aware of any allergies & Food preferences of your guests

Mzansi is a nation that loves its steaks, boerewors and beer however this is not the case for everyone, as a host- ensure that you have detailed information of your guest’s food and drink preferences, nobody wants any stops to the Emergency Room on Christmas Eve!

Prepare Enough Food

As a host it is paramount that the food prepared is more than enough, rather have leftovers than food finishing before everyone has eaten. To make things easier, have guests bring with them things such as salads or light snacks provided you will cover drinking refreshments for example.

Forget the African time this year

African time does not apply this festive season, restricted curfews are amidst us and as a host-you certainly do not want security banging on your door every ten minutes. Start your events early so people can leave early having had a good time.

Guest Etiquettes

DO NOT overstay your welcome!

Do not be that person who always leaves last or worse, sleeps over without warning (unless communicated with the host) Be considerate of other people’s spaces- arrive on time and leave on time.

Do bring a gift for the host

This is a well-appreciated gesture. Especially if you have not seen the person hosting for a long time. Gifts can be anything such as a box of chocolates, flowers, baked goods or toys to leave behind for the children if they have any.

Be a respectful house guest

Be respectful of the unspoken rules such as taking your shoes off by the door if that is done, do not smoke inside the house if no one else does so, keep your room tidy. If you will be spending more than one day at the host’s house- help out with groceries once in a while.

Do not bring an unannounced plus-1

This is an inconvenience on the host and sometimes the people in the event as well. If the event is private and is only for close friends- do not bring someone foreign to the circle it tends to get awkward, this, of course, maybe communicated with the host but it’s always a good idea to refrain from such.

Make yourself useful

Unless you are the royalty of Britain, do offer a helping hand at the event. Whether it’s washing dishes or serving- help out where possible.

This festive season may not be the same as the other years but do enjoy, have a great time and keep safe Mzansi!

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ZikhonaMataka| November 2020| Nochillinmzansi

The phrase “Adulting is hard” is common amongst the millennials so much that when I asked one of my friends why they would rather choose the ‘good old days’ of being a child than now- they mentioned all sorts of things. Such as having fewer worries on what to wear, having someone to think on their behalf (are they hungry or not) most of all, someone paying the bills.

Sure, the elixir of life and living forever young sounds enticing, the idea of singing Avril Lavigne’s Never growing up at the top of our lungs in the AM’s after a night out sounds good too however if we all stayed in one place the rest of our lives, none of us would know the thrill of test driving your new car, or getting your driver’s licence or bagging your degree or getting your first paycheck or renting your first apartment (decorating it is the best part). There is so much to look forward to in adulting and yes it might throw us off from time to time but it’s all for our learning!

Now that I have possibly chided you from the fantasy of wishing to be a child again, here are 5 optimistic reasons why WE SHOULD GROW UP!

1.Adulthood means a 2.0 version of you

When hearing the words ‘you need to grow up’ most people often think of major life changes such as a sudden change of wardrobe, a drastic weight change, getting rich overnight or the dreaded one, dating – although these may sound ideal and fitting. Adulthood, however, includes little of these. If anything, Adulting is more about finding your values and opinions. It is discovering that you enjoy your cereal soggy regardless of what the majority says. It’s finding out what works and what doesn’t. Think of adulting as a personal ‘self-care Sunday’ except it is every day and it does a damn good glow-up for you and those around you!

2. You become more selfless

Selflessness is probably the last act of humanity children know because from birth everything is circled within parameters of their comfortability and satisfaction. When grown, however, you begin to put yourself in other people’s shoes more. This makes it easier to understand people. Being empathetic doesn’t necessarily mean being a good Samaritan- it’s being open to helping people in whatever way you can simply because it leaves a good feeling of happiness.

3. You learn from your mistakes

Growing up is like being handed an eraser to your past- every day is a new opportunity to rewrite the past in a new brighter colour of your choice. It is a chance for you to outgrow your shortcomings- like how you know now that orange is not the best choice for your hair colour. To grow is to build new moments, and to focus on the YOU that is right there while working on the YOU that is yet to come. Embrace the mistakes but don’t hoard them- they may burst and make a mess.

4. You are most comfortable when being yourself

Fortunately growing up does not come with tangible instructions- otherwise, none of us would be original, we would all copy each other. Have you noticed how comfortable you get around friends and family you grew up with as opposed to people you have just met, this is because people naturally like to be liked and first impressions are important thus at times we may behave awkwardly or do things we never would do just to be perceived ‘cool’ In adulthood, however, being yourself is the one trick up your sleeve you will ever need, trust me!

5. You become more open to change and its challenges

Mainly because the future is exciting. You become more driven to partake in things that will you put you in a more advanced position a year from now. You worry about your future & therefore start making positive contributions towards it. The candid truth of growing up is realising that EVERYTHING is entirely up to you. Yes, being a grown-up comes with freedom however, that comes with great responsibility. Knowing that your entire future is in your hands could be adrenaline stimulating or be nerve-wracking to the pits, there is no in-between. Love it or hate it, Adulting is one of the priceless transitions in life (plus you get to relate to the tv show Insecure and drink wine whenever!) keep growing into adulthood with these every day motivating quotes.

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